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Thread: Man Fell Into a Lava Pool, Claims That He "Swam WIth Satan"

  1. #1
    Master Sorcerer Astigmatisme's Avatar
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    Default Man Fell Into a Lava Pool, Claims That He "Swam WIth Satan"

    Around dawn last Friday, 43-year old Russian Mikhaijcellr Leiirlorfyeigsdt was trekking at the Klyuchevskaya volcanic complex with his wife Sanfkgldyrea and two kids. Near the summit of Tolbachik, Mikhaijcellr spotted a particularly large and old lava lake surrounding the trek passage. While avoiding the lava lake, Mikhaijcellr's hiking stick unfortunately broke and he slid down and dropped into the lava lake. Sanfkgldyrea rushed and tried to pull out Mikhaijcellr, when she, too, fell into the lake. According to their daughter Baerknifsier, she managed to pull out a cellphone from Sanfkgldyrea's bag and called 112. "When I saw mum and dad fell into the lake, me and Ulfuvk called the police," Baerknifsier said. "We knew what we should do because our mum told us to call 112 when she accidentally swallowed our home cactus." Mikhaijcellr and Sanfkgldyrea was rushed to the hospital immediately afterwards, suffering major complications an had to receive many troubling surgeries. "It was a horrible sight. Many parts were merged and missing, that it was barely an organ left, " one of the doctors said. "Mikhaijcellr somehow survived a whole foot, while Sanfkgldyrea had her lower body completely burned." Miraculously, both of them survived the incident with no major complications other than their lower body, and both of them is receiving intensive medical treatment at the Blyvzkajgfyat Hospital. After the incident, Mikhaijcellr was interviewed by a number of news media to describe the whole situation. "At first, I was genuinely shocked and i couldn't feel my feet. But after a few seconds, the pain went away and it was much more relaxing, " Mikhaijcellr said in his latest interview. "It was a whole different experience, it's like being showered with hell goodies by satan himself. I was swimming with satan right next to me, enjoying the surrounding. It was fun, until a few jerks plucked me out and pulled me here." Mikhaijcellr said that he will go on another lava lake to "meet satan again." However, the government has ordered all volcanic sites to be closed down and secured, with some inactive mountain ranges actively being suspended until further notice. The government has not released words yet, but it is estimated that these sites will be closed for about 10 years.
    - Fvlokksyntredwss Sybvladrter News, 8th January 2021
    h

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    Master Sorcerer loyalty's Avatar
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    tight⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
    真の幸福を達成.




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    Master Sorcerer DavidDoesPBG's Avatar
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    **Insert Minecraft flashbacks**
    Started from the bottom, now I dug even deeper!

    My latest video: A surreal GT video


    The perfect game dosen't exi...
    https://i.imgur.com/zIZ2Suw.png

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    is this a copypasta

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    Master Sorcerer Astigmatisme's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Devours View Post
    is this a copypasta
    no i totally had to write the entire news article totally not from some website from my own magnificent creativity

    [it's not copypasta]
    h

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    ** inserts Jesus photos **
    ** prays

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    Master Sorcerer DynPlaysGT's Avatar
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    what's with people jumping in lava lately
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    no context
    Quote Originally Posted by Ohlid View Post
    dywinnie u can start pweeb with me owo we can bwender s togwetter :3 pwetty pwease

    oh yeah btw my discord is @Dynnie#3475

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    Master Sorcerer BoxeyBoy's Avatar
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    r/madlads


    kinda...
    What, You Egg?
    [He Stabs Him]

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    Master Sorcerer effanx11's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DynPlaysGT View Post
    what's with people jumping in lava lately
    Would you rather they mine the block below them and fall into lava?
    Avatar Credits Go To SnowCone

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    Quote Originally Posted by Oldsock (IGN) View Post
    There's this thing called life.

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    Master Sorcerer Maroczy's Avatar
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    Wait, the mother accidentally swallowed their home cactus? Dafuq.

    A NEET but has a stable job at a cafe

    Would try to help whenever possible,except for trying to be social,of course.

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    Lesser Wizard BigBadStrelok's Avatar
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    This is hardcore
    All is fair in love and war


  12. #12
    Master Sorcerer DynPlaysGT's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by effanx11 View Post
    Would you rather they mine the block below them and fall into lava?
    Let's not forget about Direfall.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    no context
    Quote Originally Posted by Ohlid View Post
    dywinnie u can start pweeb with me owo we can bwender s togwetter :3 pwetty pwease

    oh yeah btw my discord is @Dynnie#3475

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